Sweet Joker
by crunchie11
Summary: "Are you implying that-" "They had sex, yes." An innocent Tohru finding comfort for a bad dream turns into something a lot more...stranger than she imagined.


**A/N: Gods, don't even ask where I got this from. I just _did_. I think it starts a little slow... But it's fun :3 I LAV Kyoru. A LOT.**

**Okay, also a lot more of my OC - Rite Sohma (may know her from _Intoxicated_?) - um... Red hair, bit weird, bit of a perv, 24, besties with the Mabudachi, lurves the Sirami guy... Make what you will of her. **

**So...this story... It's shockingly long. Clocked in a 8417 words - without A/N. That's bloody well long. So, sorry. Read it in two parts, whatever.**

**And leave a little love for our total babes ;)

* * *

**

It was late. Ungodly so. Kyo was just getting comfy in his not-exactly-huge bed, ready for sleep and dreaming, when someone knocked on his door. It was either Shigure and/or Rite, playing Chappy on him, or Tohru. And probably not Yuki. But then again, when he'd gone to bed, Rite had been out cold, and Shigure was busy getting his 'creative sleep', so...

"Kyo-kun?" someone whispered, confirming his suspicions that it was the cheerful, petite brunette at the door. Why, he didn't know. But did he care?

Yes. Yes he did.

"Come in," he answered, in an equally quiet voice. The door opened a crack, and Tohru shuffled in, wearing pink, checked, baggy pj trousers, and a purple strappy tank, showing off her arms but hiding almost everything else. She was carrying something in her arms. "What's wrong?"

"Well, it's just that..." Now that he looked closely, in fact, he could see Tohru's eyes were red and puffy, her face tear-streaked and blotchy. "...I had a...a bad dream." Her voice was shaky, and she was now rooted to the spot.

Maybe it was instinct, or maybe it was a mini-Tohru on his shoulder telling him to do this, but he then asked, "What was it about?"

"M-my mum. And my dad. And it was s-s-so-" At this moment, Tohru burst into tears again, and in this one second Kyo wished more than anything there was no curse to hold him back from taking Tohru in his arms and murmuring innocent nothings in her ear. Regaining some composure, she carried on. "And then when I woke up, I couldn't get to sleep bec-cause of the storm and I was sc-scared of sleeping on my own and Y-Yuki's nice and all but-... And Rite's only got a sofa and Sh-Shigure said he had to get his sleep s-so..."

Gently hurrying her on, Kyo prompted, "So...?"

"So, I-I was wondering if, m-maybe I could, um... A-and if this is t-too forward you can j-just say and I'll go back t-to my room a-and-"

"Tohru. Just say it." The strange thing was though, he noted as she opened her mouth to speak again, was that she wasn't even crying anymore, and she was _still_ stammering. And her face was bright red.

"...wondering if I could, um, stay in y-your bed and, eh, s-sleep here with you," she finished, her face reddening every second - or so Kyo thought it was. It was hard to tell in the dark.

"Well, um, there's not much room, but..." At first, Kyo was taken aback that he had even answered her. Then, he was taken aback by how completely by chance this had happened, and how he even _cared_ that there wasn't much room.

"Well, um, if y-you think there's not enough and you'd get u-uncomfy, I can just, you know-"

"Tohru," Kyo cut across smoothly, almost smugly, "it's fine. You can stay."

Eternally grateful, Tohru smiled widely and thanked him. She set whatever she'd brought with her down on the floor. Then, she clambered towards Kyo, where he was sitting up and shuffling out the way for her. He was wearing cotten pj trousers or something, but that didn't catch her attention first, oh no. It was the toned, tanned, eighthundredtrillion-pack chest that Kyo seemed to be baring. Stumbling a little, Tohru managed to make her way to the bed. The sheets smelled fresh and clean - she'd changed them just the day before - and full of Kyo's indecipherable scent. At first you'd think it was an earthy smell, then there would be something sweet from his hair that would make you think completely different.

His bed was unbelievably comfy. It was probably that, Tohru thought, that was making him fall asleep so quickly. "G'night, Tohru," he mumbled, his eyes closing, and seconds later, his breathing evened out. Tohru wriggled around a little, trying to get more comfortable without disturbing Kyo, before curling up, her back to him, and falling asleep an hour or so later.

* * *

Tohru's eye flickered open. Usually an early riser, but, according to the digital clock facing her, she was about half an hour late.

Everyone would notice.

Taking in the strange colours and different items in the room, Tohru quickly remembered the last night, the bad dream, the overwhelming urge to share Kyo's presence at least a little bit.

Speaking of Kyo - his arm was casually slung round her waist, and judging by his breathing in her hair, he'd woken up just around she had. She couldn't focus on that, though. She was just realising that her arm was twined round his neck, pulling them into a close, intimate position.

Kyo's arm was burning around Tohru's waist, his hand on her stomach, his finger gently tracing patterns there. She realised she, too, was playing with Kyo's silky hair, twirling it around her finger. His chest was pressed against her back. Every circle her drew against her skin, every line or shape felt like fire, burning into her skin. She felt like there were millions of electrical storms or something roaring all over her skin. In fact, if anyone were to walk in, then she and Kyo would probably look...well...just like a couple.

It felt nice. More that nice. It felt...familiar. Normal. Righ-

Tohru suddenly identified the source that woke her and Kyo up. His finger stop doodling across her tummy immediately, as Shigure's voice rung out, again, across the hall. "Yukiii, Tohruuuu, Kyoooon! Wakey wakey! We're all hungry!"

Had it been any other time - i.e. not the morning - maybe the two would have enough sense to hide Tohru. Or had Shigure given them enough time to, even.

"Kyoooon!" he singsonged as he barreled into the room, "time for breakers!"

"It's a fucking Saturday," Kyo grumbled.

Tohru's hand had not moved from around his neck.

It was just perfect, wasn't it? How it was _Kyo_'s back facing the door, the blanket hogged a bit by Tohru, thus showing off his bare back but managing to hide his clothed legs from view. Clever thing. Twas an evil genius.

An evil blanket genius.

If this were not enough, Shigure, master of observance, immediately spotted the bare back. Then a blob of brown beneath Kyo's chin. Then, the final give away sign - the hand around his neck, too small and feminine to be Kyo's, the finger's playing with the orange hair. He glanced down at something on the floor.

Kyo didn't turn around in time. Shigure had adopted a shocked look, and dashed out the door.

When Kyo did finally manage to look round, he found a shut door and a neatly folded skirt and t-shirt on the floor, socks perched on top.

"Fuck," he muttered resting his head on Tohru's shoulder and shutting his eyes, trying to blank out what had just happened. "You brought clothes?" he asked, his voice croaky cause it was, you know, _morning._

"I don't kn-know why... I just d-did," Tohru explained hesitantly. Deciding not to ask exactly where her...under garments could be, he shrugged, grabbed some of his clothes, then turned his back on her. She followed suite, so they were facing opposite sides, and got changed.

Kyo was changed first. Tohru was still struggling with a shirt that was too small for her - something she hadn't noticed when she'd dashed out her room last night, apparently.

"Are you alright?" Kyo asked, after a somewhat prolonged few minutes.

"Fine, it's just, well...my shirt's too small," came the small voice behind him.

"Small? How can anything be _small_ on you? You're tiny! And really skinny!" Kyo exclaimed. Then, realising Tohru would have to walk through a hallway _plagued _with pervs (namely Shigure and Rite) with no shirt on, he quickly offered, "Do you want to borrow a shirt of mine so you can get to your room?"

"Y-your shirt?" Tohru asked, seemingly struck dumb. Then, noticing the question still hanging in the air, she answered,"Oh, um, yes...?"

There was a swift rummaging through some drawers and finally a white t-shirt, looking far too big for her, was flung over. "That's the smallest size I got," Kyo said, somewhat apologetically.

Tohru nodded, then, realising he probably wasn't looking at her, she mumbled a, "That's fine, thank you." She pulled the shirt on quickly, then stood up. Kyo looked at her, holding back a smirk.

The shirt was so big the short sleeves flapped with every movement she made, and it almost reached the skirt she was wearing. Kyo looked like he was about to chuckle, when something in Tohru's face made in stop, and he realised why this had even happened.

_Tohru just came into my room last night and we slept on my bed, at the same time, and then I woke up and my arm was round her and I was drawing all over her and she had her arm round my neck and I think she was awake cause she was playing with my hair then my back was on show and Shigure walked in and saw the two of us and my bare back and it looked like I had no clothes on and he saw Tohru's stuff and her hand and-_

_Shit._ Then, as this thought wormed a hole through his head, he thought something else. _Or not..._

Apparently, Tohru had reached the same conclusion as he had. Well, the first one anyway, if her now anxious expression was to be taken into account.

She looked at him in slight desperation, then he tapped her nose and smirked, and began to detail his somewhat evil plan.

At this time, Shigure and Rite were already discussing the two - not that Shigure had told her what he'd seen, he was leading up to that.

"You know what?" Rite said. "I bet they're secretly pulling. That's so what they'd do. Hell, that's what _I'd _do."

"Pulling, Rite...?"

"You know, pulling a move, Gure! You know that. Like, kissing."

Shigure shook his head gravely. "I don't think they're just pulling, Rite."

"No?" she asked, looking vaguely interested. "And what makes you think that, dearie?"

"Well...I saw Kyo and Tohru in Kyo's room." Rite raised an eyebrow. "On his bed." Her eyebrow joined the other one somewhere further up her head. "And as far as I could see, Kyo had no clothes on." Rite looked shocked. "I don't think Tohru did either, cause there were some on the floor."

"Hang on. How were they sleeping like? Cause if he didn't transform, then...?"

"Well, Kyo was on his side, and his back was to me. I think Tohru was in front of him, but I only saw her hair, so I think her back was to him."

"Ah."

"And she had an arm round his neck, and I think his arm was probably round her waist."

"Ah." Then: "Hang on. Are you trying to imply that-"

"They had sex, yes."

"Oh. My. _God!_" Rite squealed. "Oh my god! They had-! And-! Oh my god! Oh wow... And I still remember my first time, too..."

"I know," Shigure said, understandingly.

"Yeah, but-! Do we act like nothing's wrong, or do we act like they're an item, or...?"

"Well, they know I saw them, cause I was waking Kyon up, but..."

"But then...you were waking up Tohru too." Then a thought struck and she yelped, "Fuck! Did they use protection!"

Shigure's eyes widened. "I don't know!"

"Ohmigod!"

"Ohmigod!"

"Ohmigod!"

"Fuck..."

Back up in Kyo's room, the two were about to leave the room, plan fully ready. Tohru had surprisingly not protested that much, though it was quite against her morals to deceive people. There was something in Kyo's eyes, and the fact he barely enjoyed such fun, that made her agree.

It'd be _fun_.

So, with Kyo in his normal khakis and tee and Tohru in her skirt and _his_ shirt, they set off, barefoot. Kyo opened the door for her, and instead of saying her thank you, she just smiled instead. Kyo then joined her.

Then Yuki exited his own room.

It was such a perfect set up, once again. If Yuki hadn't been at such a loss for words he probably would've screeched at Kyo or something, but instead remained rooted to the floor as he saw Tohru and Kyo leave his room, walking so close together, showing off an intimacy that only a couple could. And then there was Tohru's top - several sizes too big for her, entirely too long.

It would've been the right size on Kyo.

And just like that, Yuki realised what must have happened. He rushed down the stairs after them, intending to go straight to breakfast. On the way there, just at the bottom of the steps, he saw them again, now talking quietly, so quietly Yuki couldn't hear. Tohru said something, and Kyo nodded. As Yuki passed them, Kyo smirked and Tohru - strangely unlike her self - smiled slyly.

Yuki kept walking, this new image burned into his brain. As he sat down, the two adults shut up.

Then Shigure said, quietly, "Yuki. I think you should know this, but...I think Kyo and Tohru-"

"I know." After a few quizical looks, he explained himself. "I saw them coming out his room. They're talking at the stairs right now."

Shigure nodded, then quickly re-told what he'd seen when he went to wake up Kyo and Tohru. He'd barely finished when the two came in, still looking strangely smug, with that indescribable closeness. Kyo nodded at a gaping Shigure, Tohru at an equally shocked Yuki, the...couple (Yuki grimaced) both sitting down together - at the same side of the table! - and smiling 'sweetly' at Rite, who opened her mouth and closed it a few times.

"So guys," Rite finally said, carefully, "how are you?"

They exchanged a look before Kyo said, "I feel just great."

Everyone shared a mental, 'Ohmigod'.

"I also feel brilliant," Tohru said, grinning at Kyo. "Kyo-kun can do _magic_ with his hands!" Shigure giggled nervously. Yuki looked quite affronted. Rite did something between a gasp and a laugh.

"No way," Kyo said, shaking his head. "I don't know what you did to my back, but it was _amazing._"

Everyone now shared a mental, 'Ooooh.' They never realised Kyo was capable of saying something was amazing.

This continued for much of breakfast. Whatever topic they chose to banter about, one of the two (or even Shigure or Rite) would say a less-than-appropriate remark and it would spiral.

Rite left right after breakfast, saying she had business - "A friend dealing with a very nasty break-up, sweethearts." - and at the word business Shigure ran off, saying he had to find Mit-chan and he'd be back by lunch. Rite repeated this sentiment, and they dashed off.

Now Yuki was stuck with the 'couple'. After several minutes of watching them flirt, he too sped out the building saying he'd, also, be back in time for lunch, could you please make some for me, Honda-san?

The second they were alone, Kyo and Tohru burst into laughter. Unlike them, understandably. Clutching onto counters and wiping tears out their eyes.

A tad extreme, but there never had been so much to laugh about.

"The look on Shigure's face...!" Kyo gasped, shaking his head, apparently unable to finish his sentence.

"When you said that thing about your back-! They all looked..." Tohru chuckled.

"No, when you went on about my hands! Did you see Yuki's face!" Kyo laughed.

"I know! And the way Rite looked actually shocked!"

"I know!"

After a while, they calmed down a bit. "So what do we do now?" Kyo asked, looking round the empty kitchen.

"I'll just clean up," Tohru said, smiling.

"You sure?" Tohru nodded. "Right, I'm going for a shower. See you later."

Tohru nodded happily, and was up to her elbows in soapy water when was Kyo said really hit her. _Shower..._

_Ehehe, so not thinking about Kyo in- Kyo-kun in the shower, ehehe, so not thinking about joining him..._

A devilish voice - sounding somewhat like Rite - whispered in her ear, _Are you sure, sweetheart? My, I doubt he'd refuse, if you know what I mean._

Tohru could just imagine the wink that went along with that.

She thus decided to busy herself - when she did that she forgot about all else, a little habit of hers. She scrubbed the dishes, rinsing them, drying them, scrub, rinse, dry, scrub, rinse, d-

"Tohru?" This was unexpected. Why, it was the strangest thing. A boy with orange hair and red eyes was calling her name from the middle of the stairs, a boy with a very toned chest and a very toned stomach, and - oh. A very nice white towel draped round his waist.

What had she expected, anyway?

"Can I use you in the shower for a second?" He didn't even look abashed.

Tohru felt the redness rush to her face. "Sorry?"

"Can I use your shampoo for a moment?" Kyo asked, looking at Tohru in the way one would observe someone who'd just asked what one plus two was.

And wasn't under five years old.

"Oh, uh-" Tohru wasn't very good at talking for the moment.

"Just because mine ran out and I don't want to borrow that damn rat's or Shigure's and Rite's is really weird, so could I just...?"

"Sure! I'll just get it for you..." Tohru thus hurtled up the stairs (past Kyo, thankfully, without incident) and ignored his confusion of _But your shampoo is in the shower why are you going in there and bending down fuck you have a short skirt on and I'm pretty sure you had a jumper on five seconds ago._

Tohru's thoughts also followed this pattern, but much later in the timeline. Just as Kyo reached 'I'm pretty sure', Tohru was starting with, _Wait, but if my shampoo's in here and the water's still running and now my top's wet and he was going to be here the whole time... No, calm down Tohru, it'll be fine, you still have your swe- where's my sweater? I'm only wearing a-!_

A what, you might ask? But as Tohru stood, bent half in the shower, Kyo could quickly see what was happening. She was wearing his white shirt with the red hems and a bright red, lacy bra that must've been purchased during one of Tohru and Rite's many trips to Victoria's Secret. Not that Kyo, you know, _knew_ about that. He was still trying to fathom why Tohru even went up here anyway.

_Let's think about it logically, Kyo_, a voice decided in his head. _Let's play Word Reaction game. I describe a scene, and you give me the first answer that comes to your head. Okay? Okay. Good. Imagine Tohru had just said she was going to the shower, you think: Tohruinshower. Exactly what I thought. Now, you're thinking about Tohru in the shower, what first comes to mind: goinshower. I thought so. And finally, Tohru appears in a towel, asking to borrow you're shampoo: get her shampoo, join her in shower._

Oh. Kyo was still looking at Tohru when she wrenched her head up out of the abyss. "I'll just, um, go-"

_Oh._ "Tohru," Kyo said firmly, "what did you think when I said I was going to the shower?"

_You in the shower._

"Um-"

"What did you think after that?"

_Joining you in the shower._

"Well-"

"And what did you think when I asked for your shampoo?"

_Getting in shower with you while getting shampoo._

"Oh!" Because this time, her thoughts had overflowed to mind speech. As in, Tohru had said that to Kyo.

And he had, like, _heard_ her.

He looked surprised - almost shocked - when she said that, but his face quickly relaxed. "Oh, really?" he said, smirking. "Because I was just wondering why you covered your top in water."

Mortified, Tohru looked down to see bright red - and a slight blur of tan and Kyo trace the strap on her shoulder.

"I was also wondering why you'd wear such a _bright_ colour," he continued, still smirking. Tohru glanced down, and realised something. It wasn't red she was seeing, but..._orange._ Karma - and God, it seemed - wasn't on her side today.

She thought-repeated this sentiment when Kyo's fingers brushed her collarbone, briefly, before turning back to scratch his neck.

_I...I think he's teasing me! _Tohru thought, quite distressed.

"So," he asked, "should I take you up on your offer?" He smiled slyly, reaching for her wrist, almost stroking it for a second, before walking towards the shower without a second look.

"It's your call," he declared. "Though I thought you had washing to do?"

With that, Tohru zipped around and out the room before she could even be tempted to watch him take the towel off. A couple of seconds later, when the shower began running again, Tohru leaned against the wall, her heart thumping. Her face was bright red, several loose strands of hair were hanging around her face, and the shirt she was wearing clung onto her, soaking her quite thoroughly.

Gasping for breath, she felt like some kind of injustice had just been performed there. _He... He was teasing me!_

So instead of thinking about the previous situation. Tohru pulled the shirt off, rushed into her room to dry herself, then sat at the edge of the window, ringing the water out the shirt. She had to look presentable for when everyone else came back.

_Everyone else coming back... I haven't started lunch! Kyo-kun distracted me, and-!_ She did not pause to think that she had kind of distracted herself - and still was, as the ringing had stopped. She jumped to her feet, squeezed the shirt one last time for good measure then pulled it on, and dashed down into the kitchen and continued washing the dishes. Glancing at the clock, she realised it was only 11am. That meant two hours till lunch. Two hours to fill... 

_Laundry_. It was always the best thing.

She dried her last dish, deposited them all to their correct cupboards, then sped into the laundry room to grab a basket. She'd put a wash out yesterday, so it was probably dry already...

Before she knew what was happening, she was up outside where she hung up the wet washing. She carefully slung the clothing into the basket, quickly as possibly, assuming to race around depositing the clothes and grabbing dirty ones, and putting on another wash. She did not expect to be disturbed.

And she wasn't. Shockingly enough, Kyo had finished his shower just _after_ she dipped into his room and collected/lay out his clothes. In fact she only met him when he was about to go into his room, clothes on, a drop of water running down from his hair that he was towelling. He merely smiled and said hey and went off into his room. She didn't see him for a while, not until 12:15 - when she started lunch. He just sidled in, tucking something into his pocket, and joined her in cutting up onions. Well, that is to say that he started chopping the onions, and she moved on to something else.

They stayed like that for a while, randomly doing the jobs they had to and swapping round every now and again. Sure, the flirtatious acts would begin again the second the rest of the Sohmas that resided in Shigure's came back, but right now... On their own, they'd rather be what they'd always been - friends, good friends, laughing and having fun and sharing those tiny, indechiperable secret smiles every once in a while.

It was only at those smiles that Tohru really blushed.

When the first two people came in, Kyo and Tohru were standing by (Tohru) and sitting on (Kyo) the counter, waiting for the food to come out the oven. They were talking enthusiastically (for once) about the seasons they liked/hated and why they liked/hated them. They were currently on summer, and once Tohru had concluded that yes, she loved summed because she could have fun and do lots of work, Kyo opened his mouth to speak.

"Summer's okay, compared to the other's," Kyo muttered.

Tohru beamed, however. "I thought you might like it, because the cat's love the sun, don't they? Is that why you like it so much?"

"...I guess. When I was a kid, I used to go on the roof for ages. Shishou had to bring up food," he said, smiling.

Tohru's expression changed from happy to confusion, though. "Didn't you go on the roof of you're parent's house?"

Tohru immediately knew she'd said something wrong. Kyo's expression turned stony, and for a second she thought he wouldn't answer.

"I wasn't allowed on the roof," he answered shortly. Tohru's eyes softened. She could imagine. From what she'd heard at the main estate, and whenever Shigure and Hatori and Rite gossiped (sometimes Ayame, too), Kyo hadn't been allowed to do anything very much. He wasn't able to go outside. Or watch TV. Or go on the roof, it seemed. "This time last year..." he said suddenly, surprising her. The stony look had gone, but there was still something different - regret? Tohru couldn't quite put her finger on it - that lingered in his eyes.

"You were training in the mountains with Shishou, weren't you?" Tohru supplied.

Kyo looked like he'd been jerked back into reality. He looked at Tohru, confused for a moment, then he blinked and his expression changed.

"Yeah," he said. "Right." He chose not to say what he'd actually been doing at the mountains.

How he'd been doing nothing.

And it was at this cheery moment Shigure and Yuki crashed into the room, both panting.

"Just got away...from Mit-chan," Shigure breathed, standing up straight and clutching his head, which seemed to be laden with small hand prints.

Kyo could just imagine Shigure showing up with no manuscript and Mii slapping the life out of them. He almost wished he had been there.

Yuki, however, was still bent over, gasping. "Nii-san...and Machi and...Kakeru," he mumbled, wondering himself why he even went to Ayame's place anyway.

After several minutes of Yuki's bending/gasping, Shigure's head-clutching, Tohru's worry and Kyo's gaping/sniggering, Yuki pulled himself up and asked the all-important question: "When's lunch?"

_Lunch..._ Kyo and Tohru looked at each other, trying to recall what had happened to the lunch.

Shigure chimed in with another all-important question. "Is something burning?"

_Burning...?_ Kyo and Tohru looked at each other, now recalling that they'd put lunch in the oven about twenty minutes ago.

_Shit!_ (Please note only Kyo thought this.) _Burning!_

"_Eeh?_" Tohru gaped, whilst Kyo dashed over to the oven with a "crap!" He grabbed the rail, reeled back in pain, caught and pulled on the oven gloves Tohru passed to him whilst she put her own pair on, and wrenched open the oven. Tohru swooped in, pulled the trays out, and set them down on the chopping board.

Everyone stepped over to judge the burnt mess.

"It's not _horrible_," Yuki said kindly, as he regarded the slightly blackened chicken and dumplings.

Kyo stepped forth, weapon in hand. He pierced one of the dumplings and held it to eye level. Deciding that it was not dangerous, he put it in his mouth, had some kind of spasm when he realised how _effing god damn burning freaking hot_ it was, and chomped it down.

"It's just really burnt," Kyo concluded. "And hot."

"What's hot?" In all this mess, they hadn't heard the front door open and close (again). "Couldn't be me, could it?"

"Why Rite," Shigure greeted the relaxed (fake) redhead, "he was actually referring to _me_."

"Oh really?"

"I was _actually_ talking about the food," Kyo butted in.

"No shit, Kyon."

"You don't say."

Kyo tried not to severely hammer their heads in.

"Anywho, there I am, walking home, _minding my own business_, when I seem some awful familiar people race by."

"And who might they be?" Shigure asked innocently.

"My, they were only Shigure and Yuki Sohma, rushing to get to the house. Why, I even thought about joining the race, but..." Rite gestured down to her feet, which were atop some teetering blue sandles. "...new heels."

"Indeed?" Shigure said.

"Indeed. So, what's for lunch?" Rite replied.

Shigure swept his arm to the chicken and dumplings that Tohru was now hurriedly piling onto plates (Kyo was supplying cutlery, duh). "This burnt shit."

"Shit?" Kyo exclaimed, enraged. "Tohru and I worked really hard on that."

"Tohru and you, hm?" Rite repeated.

"Are you sure an idiot like you wasn't just distracting her?" Yuki asked.

"Distracting her how, is the question," Shigure ammended.

"Being his usual violent self," Yuki responded, as if it was obvious.

"Violent? Kyo?" Tohru asked in surprise, after depositing all the plates on the table. Kyo could tell by her voice that they were back into the act. "Never!"

Yuki tried not to wince when she didn't add '-kun'.

"You know," Kyo said, "I don't know whether to be offended or not by that."

"Well, if you're not violent, then I'll have to be."

Shigure snickered, Rite looked violated and Yuki giggled nervously as they all tried to picture a violent Tohru. Or even worse - _a violently agressive_ Tohru.

They shuddered at this thought. Kyo and Tohru, however, with their telepathic powers, seemed to hear this thought instead. They did not shudder.

"You? Violent? Like, agressive? As if!" Kyo rolled his eyes. "I can't have that. After all...don't you call _this_ agressive?" Suddenly Kyo grabbed onto the counter, his hands on either side of Tohru. Though at first she looked surprised (as she should!), she smiled back as he leaned in and tilted his head, raising his eyebrows.

"No," she answered back sweetly. "But _this_ is." Suddenly she lurched forwards, only managing not to hit Kyo's head was by him (belatedly) pulling back.

"Yeah right," Kyo said, irritatedly - but he smiled anyway.

"Well, it isn't my first victory, is it?"

"Shup."

Some more nervous giggling (this time from Rite - they all had to get a shot, right?), Shigure smirked (confident bastard) and Yuki just sighed. The three made their way to the table and sat down, once again gawping at the two who sat beside each other - but didn't. You see, Rite and Shigure had done the clever thing and sat down together, gesturing for Yuki to sit opposite.

Kyo and Tohru looked rather down-hearted when they saw this. Their whole next act had been depending on their sitting next to each other. Well...

They took their seats. Never matter. The gap wasn't that big, and it would be fun. They'd discussed this. It would just go...slightly differently.

Everyone dug in, Kyo especially enthusiasticly, Tohru more...put-outedly.

"Tohru?" Kyo finally asked. "Is something wrong with your food?"

Everyone looked up.

"It's fine," Tohru sighed. "But it doesn't look as nice as...yours."

Which was an utter lie. Even Yuki could tell, despite his complete lack of skill in the culinary department. Kyo's food was more burnt that any of them - however, Kyo and Tohru seemed to think this merely enhanced the taste. Obviously.

"Oh. You want some?" Kyo asked - Rite and Shigure snickered at the double-meaning.

"Oh - well... If you don't mind."

"Not at all."

And instead of leaning _riiiight_ over the table to show off ample view of her cleavage due to extreme baggy shirt, Kyo leaned _riiiight_ over the table, fork in hand and food on fork, shirt not bagging but rather form-fitting, and stuck the fork several inches away from Tohru's face.

She leaned forward, and the rest if chompy history. A couple more times of that, and the audience were beginning to get bored.

So instead, Rite brought over a huge bowl filled of millions of Ben and Jerry's ice cream and five spoon, and set it down.

"Dessert, bitches, and eat up," she declared, before sinking her spoon into Chocolate Fudge Phish Food.

"Oi, Tohru?" Kyo said as he examined the bright blue (artifiacally coloured, you bet it is) ice cream in front of him before setting eyes on the creamy white further away. Tohru happened to be eating this, licking it seductively (not on purpose, though) off her spoon. "Could you pass some vanilla?"

"Vanilla?" Tohru repeated, looking at the half-covered in vanilla spoon she drooled over. She quickly ate up that small amount, then dug her spoon back in again and held it out to Kyo, and he was just about to eat it when-

Shigure gulped it down.

"That was gross!"

"That was repulsive."

"That was for _me_, dammit!"

Shigure merely shrugged, licking his lips. Tohru now looked down at her spoon, inspecting it carefully.

"Oh, no Tohru-chan!" Rite exclaimed dramatically. "Don't do it! Don't give some to Kyo, or have some yourself! Dispose of that disgusting spoon right this minute! You cannot share an indirect kiss with Shigure! You must protect your youthful virgin lips!"

She looked like she was about to continue, when Shigure said, "And she's allowed an 'indirect kiss' with Kyo? Or, in fact, a direct one?"

That brought Rite down from her cloud. She huffed, "That's different. You're a perv. Kyon is merely...sexually active."

"I'm sexually active too!"

"That's a lie. The last time you did it was when you were chucked out of the main estate, wasn't it? When you did it with Re-" Rite immediately broke off. "Well anyway, I'm also sexually active, you'll be glad to know!"

"And Tohru-kun," Shigure said, as if that didn't add up.

"Oh, but you don't have to be yet, Yun-chan!" Rite said, pointing at the rat. "Wait for your time! For your true love! For-"

"Machi-san?"

"Who?"

"Yuki's new love interest," Shigure explained.

"As. Yes. Wait till she's ready, Yun-chan."

"Don't forget protection."

During all this, Yuki had actually been watching Kyo chuck his spoon to Tohru and leave for the kitchen to get another. His ears only perked at the mention of Machi, and his expression grew only more disgusted as he listened on.

"You two," he said evenly, "are vulgar."

"I blame Haa-san," Shigure said immediately.

"I blame global warming," Rite nodded.

"Glo...?"

"Erm...because...um... The higher temperatures are making us go loopy!" she finished, a triumphant smile on her face.

"Of course."

Kyo crashed back down into his seat.

"Kyon-chan! Where did you go? You didn't try and share an indirect kiss with the spoon, did you?" Rite asked immediately, her hand fluttering round the perfect 'O' her mouth made.

"No!" Shigure exclaimed, a palm to his head. "I believed in you, Kyo! I believed in you!"

Kyo grimaced. "I needed a spoon," he said, glaring at the two.

Rite stared at him, like he had just said he was in love with Britney Spears (did he even know who Britney Spears was?). "Why d'ya need a spoon?" she asked, turned her gaze onto Tohru - the one actually in need of such an implement.

And was holding such an implement.

She turned to Shigure, who had on his thinking pose, and they hushhush talked for a second.

"Kyo," Shigure started, "we understand it's gentlemanly of you to give your own to a lady in need-"

"Oh la la!" Rite laughed.

"-but to share in indirect kiss with such a pure-"

"She's not the pure anymore," Rite reminded him.

"Slightly pure flower is..."

Tohru looked on, troubled. "Okay then!" she said frantically. "I'll just go get another spoon and-"

"No Tohru!" Rite cried suddenly.

"You mustn't, Tohru-kun!" Shigure agreed.

Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru did not fail to see the sudden change in attitude.

"Okay..." Tohru said slowly, sinking back down in her seat - she'd leapt up to get another spoon - and turned to look at Kyo.

Her just shrugged.

"So, what are we going to-"

"_Mariaaaaaa, I've just kissed a girl named Mariaaaa, and suddenly I found, how wonderful a sound could beeeeeeee!"_

"Oh, sorry!" Rite exclaimed. "Changed my ringer," she winked, then jumped up and pulled out a slim black phone out her pocket. She clicked something, then started conversing with whoever it was ("Ohmigod! How _are_ you, babes? Fuck no!").

"So, what's happening tomorrow?" Yuki asked.

"Yeah. Anything special planned, Tohru?" Kyo said.

Oh. He had a lovely voice, didn't he? All soft and lovely and beautiful. Did he know that? Did he know how appealing he looked, locks of his orange hair falling over his eyes as he looked at her, the first few buttons of his shirt undone, his sharp collarbone...? But of course, being _Kyo_ - so unaware of his own beauty and the effect that, combined with his overall being, had on Tohru - he probably didn't realise. Tohru just couldn't believe herself. As if Kyo... Kyo - who was insanely handsome, sexy, smart, kind Kyo, so very near perfect but he wasn't and that made him so _lovable_, his flaws. To think he could every reciprocate her feelings.

"Tohru." Kyo repeated.

She could listen to it all day - it was all sorts of rights. She's heard so much of it - a low growl when he was angry; a soft murmur when he was gentle; a stilted mutter when he was awkward. And yet...there were so many others. She'd hardly heard it when he was sad, or... No, that was a lie. Well, it would've been. She'd heard it - now - when he was flirting. It was lovely even then. All nice and silky. It was deep, loud most of the time, but there was that soft rumble that sent shivers down her spine whenever they were alone...

"Tohru?"

_Say it loud, and there's music playing: say it quiet, it's almost like a prayer._ Sure, Tony had been singing it about Maria's name, but...Tohru felt it applied here, to the orange-haired _beauty_ in front of her. Sure, it was actually sort of rude to call a boy beautiful, but it was pretty much the right word. And to think... Tohru Honda - mousy, normal, _plain_ Tohru Honda - was falling for a fucking Adonis. How dare she. What she needed was a right slap, that's what. Kyo was entirely too nice to hit her, so he was out - but Rite might. She'd would just have to ask and _bam!_ Done and done. And maybe it should bother Tohru how deeply she was contemplating this.

It did not.

"Tohru!"

She started, realising she'd been staring at Kyo this whole time. Kyo was looking back at her like she was about to burst into song at any time (_West Side Story _came to mind), meanwhile Yuki looked confused/disgusted and Shigure was laughing.

"Er, yes?" she asked, trying to sound somewhat graceful.

"Well, we were wondering what we were doing tomorrow..."

Rite's voice filtered back into earshot.

"Okay, so this guy was staring at my boobs from across the whole square. I was like, get a life!" There was a pause, then, "Haha, god no. Huh? Oh yeah, I'll save him for you. Okay, so when is it? Seven p.m? I'll be there at eight, darling. Can I bring friends? Just a bunch. Shigure - you know Shigure - Yuki - he's emotionally-crippled, be aware of that - Kyo? No, I already told you about him." Her voice was quieter now. "Yeah. No. What? Actually, I think so! Wait? _No!_ Oh yeah, this utter _babe_ Tohru. She's such a sweetheart. You'll see. Hang on. No! Oh, with him? Er, yeah."

Rite seemed to realise everyone was staring at her in the kitchen from the table.

"Right, doll, I'll see you? Fuck. Hang on, is there pre-drinks? No? Can my friends and I come early? I don't think we're doing anything. Yeah. No. Maybe...? Get Twister out. And sake. Oh! And, is..._Sirami-san_ attending?" Rite actually _blushed._ "Ohmigod! I'm not playing Twister with him! Unless we're drunk. Oh, you'll make sure of that? Thanks, babe. You're a life saver. See ya? Cool. Hang up. No, you hang up! You hang up! Hang-"

Shr turned to her friends and slowly walked back to the table. "He hung up on me," she said simply.

"What was _that_ about?" Kyo asked rudely.

"Was that-"

"Kafei? Yup. He's such a darling, isn't he? Apprently he's just gone gay. I love him all the more." Rite smiled, then laid her chin on her interlocked fingers. "So," she said slyly, "we're going to my bestie, Kafei's place tomorrow at 12. No buts. We'll be there for ages, bring party stuff. Er, Tohru, I'll help you."

Rite smiled sweetly and left the room.

_"Mariaaaaaa, I've just kissed a girl named Mariaaaa, and-"_

"Kafei? Sirami!"

The four left exchanged looks.

"Now now, kiddies!" Shigure chirped. "I've got to go work, so see ya!"

"You never work," Yuki said as Shigure walked out the room. Yuki then sighed. "But I do. I'll see you later, Honda-san? I've got to sort out the student council stuff."

"Sure," Tohru smiled warmly, also getting up. Yuki left, and Tohru then sat down next to Kyo, who'd swivelled the bowl round till vanilla was right in front of him. He was eating away at it, completely unaware Tohru was watching him. When he finally looked up - a fleck of white dotted adorably on his cheek - he jumped.

"Tohru?" he gasped.

"Yes?"

"Oh, nothing... I just didn't realise you were there," Kyo sighed, trying to calm down his racing heart. "D-do you want some?" he asked, gesturing to the enormous salad bowl still filled with ice cream.

"Ah! Oh yes, thank you," she smiled, digging her spoon into the bright blue whatever Kyo had been staring intently at before. As she was about to glomp it whole, she realised Kyo hadn't noticed the blob of white on his cheek.

_It'll be tasty, too._

Tohru saw that the little devil - looking suspiciously like Rite - was perching on her shoulder. Again.

_You know, _it sighed, _I bet he is, too._

Tohru would've blushed had she not actually been contemplating this seriously.

When Kyo called her name again and she realised presicely _what_ she'd been contemplating, she did blush.

"Er, what?"

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking concerned.

_Oh no! I've made him worry! I'll just have to-_

Shoulder Devil seemed to be nodding along to this. _You'll just have to make him worry some more, won't you? Dear, dear, sigh._

Tohru flushed some more.

"Tohru? Are you alright?"

Oh no. He was talking to her again. What could she do? Well, there was the ice cream on his cheek - if she leaned over and plucked it off with her finger-

_Or with your tongue, sweetheart. I'm sure he wouldn't mind a kiss._

Tohru's face flamed. Strangely enough, if there was anybody else there, she would've gone and done that in seconds, if only for the show. But when it was just the two of them, only the two, she couldn't. They were friends during this time - lovers with other people, apparently - and it would be...wrong to do that.

_To hell with it, babe. Don't you want to be lovers? Is that not why I am here?_

Tohru frowned. Wasn't the devil there to convince her to do the wrong choices? She checked again.

Jesus Christ, Rite did have powers. Or maybe Tohru was hallucinating.

Oh well. Kyo was looking at her like she would start _dancing_ now (a one-on-one waltz would be quite nice) and that drop of vanilla looked _so_ appealing against his tan skin.

_Ooh, I bet he's yummy, too!_

Tohru tried to ignore this - not that she didn't agree, but that was totally unrelated - and vaguely wondered why Kyo's expression had changed slightly as she leaned forward. And forward. And forward.

She realised she wasn't stopping. Kyo realised that she wasn't even aiming for his _lips_ (he also realised he was slightly disapointed by this). He jumped - hardly, but still - as he felt something warm connect with his skin. A huge shock of electricity rippled through him, and he noticed goosebumps had showed up all over his arms.

As Tohru moved away from him, he noticed a blob of white on her tongue. So if that's what touched him, then why...?

The ice cream dissolved in her mouth, and she licked her lips. Smiling at Kyo's adorably confused expression, she explained, "You had ice cream on your face."

"Oh... Um, okay," Kyo said distractedly, now wondering a) how long the ice cream had been on his face, b) why she hadn't told him it was there, and c) and why, of all things, she'd used her _tongue_. Not that he didn't enjoy it, of course.

Tohru stood up then, a soft smile on her face. Kyo stood, too, deciding this must be the end of their (extremely long) lunch.

"I'll see you later," Tohru said. "Hana-chan and I are going to visit Uo-chan at work." Then she stepped up to him, looked at him with those big brown eyes shining in determination, and cupped a hand round his chin.

And then she kissed him.

It was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. It sent such a jolt of electricity though him he almost pulled away - of course he didn't though. He was enjoying it too much. And just as he actual started to respond, she pulled away, smiling - blushing, too, but Kyo's face was probably on fucking _fire_ - and walked away.

Kyo blinked, confused by the sudden lack of warmth. He sighed, then picked up the ice cream bowl and walked away into the kitchen to shove it into the fridge.

Somewhere by the doorway to the room de la eating, Shigure grudgingly handed over some money to Rite, who was grinning widely. Of course, she had no idea about Tohru's she-devil experience - how dare anyone ever accuse her of such?

"So anyway," she said, strolling into eating land just as Kyo left the kitchen, "we're going to my mate's tomorrow, we must bring suitable attire. Kafei told me he was planning drunk Twister, some Truth or Dare, I Never, Charades, Pictionary, you know... All those games. He said we could even play tig outside if it's rainy enough."

She noticed Kyo, who was standing there in his darling awkward manner like, _wut?_

"Oh, babe, I was just thinking, you and Tohru, one on one, yeah? Make sure your chest doesn't touch - hey, how _did_ you managed that, pretty good feat, and here Shigure thought you couldn't. I mean, I won the bet."

Shigure sniggered at Kyo's affronted face.

"Bet?" he repeated.

"Babes, Shii-chan and I are addicted to making bets, you didn't know?" Rite asked lightly.

"No!"

"Well, anyway, he said either you managed it or you just, like, didn't do it and were having it on with us, yeah?" Rite snorted. "But you totally aren't, I can so tell, that _passion_ in your eyes, totally there for more, like, Tohru's _desperate_, I'm betting you are, too-"

Shigure was laughing his head of now. Kyo's face was red, sputtering and trying ton be coherent. Rite was looking pretty irritated.

"Oh my god, Kyo," she said seriously. "You _were_ tricking us? I was so certain! You were doing an amazing job. So, all that...was a joke? You didn't mean it? Oh my god. I actually thought you did. Oh god..." Rite seemed to be taking this a little hard. After a sigh, she brightened. "Anyway, you totally have to keep it up, I'm sure Yuki's _dying_ somewhere because his sweet little 'Honda-san' has been de-flowered and what-not." Rite sighed again. "Whatevs. I have a hectic social life, I need to bring shit for tomorrow, yeah? I'll see you, yeah? Yeah. I love you guys."

Shigure chuckled. "And where do you plan on going?'

Rite stuck her tongue out at him. "Shup." And she flounced off to where ever the hell a sofa was.

"You know, Rite-chan's not the only one who's noticed such - what did she say? Ah, yes - _desperation_ in Tohru's eyes." Shigure winked, then waltzed off to find Rite.

Kyo was _thisclose_ to thinking, _Oh. Em. Gee._ Instead, he thought the slightly less gay thought (thinking thoughts like those were for thinkers who thought like Yuki) of, _This is all Rite's fault._

Then he semi-added, _Jokes, it's all my fault, this was all my idea, they've found out, we actually have to do it, or keep up the act, or call it off._

Kyo thought for a second (but not like thinkers who thought like Yuki). _It's too fun! Maybe I can convince them I had amnesia and that I actually did it with Tohru._

Kyo thought for a second more. _Jesus christ, I sound retarded. Or like Rite._

He thought once more. _I wonder what it would be like to do it with Tohru...? It wouldn't be too bad, I mean, our chests wouldn't touch at all and-_

Kyo then realised precisely _what_ he was thinking, and blushed, brightly.

If only he _didn't_ want to do it with her. That would make things much easier. However, boys would be boys and he was in that stage of life, so...

_Now I have all day to think about this. Maybe I should just kill myself. Or Rite._

Kyo sighed, and leaned back, prepared for a day of thinking about Tohru.

* * *

**A/N: Soooo! Sorry for any mistakes and what not. I just lurve the endingness of this! Probably my best ;)**

**Not wanting to advertise or anything, but for those Kyoru lovers out there - my babes _Intoxicated_ and _In Circumstance_ are Kyoru too ;) However, I do have RinxHaru and TamakixHaruhi too.**

**Yeah. There was no need for that. R&R? Please? Love you? Please? If you do you get a virtual cookie and a cut-out cardboard Kyo. Who speaks.**

**Possibly ;)**

**So merci for reading this, j'adore tus. Or something.**

**CIAO ;)  
**


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